6 Months In A New City: The Good, The Bad, The Isolating, & How I’m Working To Love Myself More

It’s insane to think I’ve now been living in New York for 6 months. Absolutely insane.

In 6 months, I have seen both the greatest, and most difficult days to date. I’ve had days where I feel like I completely belong here and I’m on top of the world. I’ve had days where I didn’t know if I could get up and out of my apartment to face people. I’ve had days where I felt so lonely I wonder why I did what I did, and wondered if anyone even cares about me (crazy, I know). But moving to a new city can be completely isolating. And while exciting, some days I literally feel like I’m on an island.

But I don’t think this only goes for people moving to a new city, I think it can happen anywhere. I used to be constantly surrounded by family and friends, and sometimes still even felt lonely. What I’ve learned is each day I have a new opportunity to do things that make me happy, make me feel better, and love myself more. So in the process, I’ve worked hard to love the absolute crap out of myself to get through some of the toughest days. Here are a few things I started doing:

  1. I started meditating. I downloaded the Calm app, and truly have been trying to meditate everyday. It’s really helping! My thoughts can get the absolute best of me sometimes, and in the craziness of each day, we don’t always spend time just sitting there with NO thoughts. Meditating sets me up for more calm and peace in my day, which is something I’ve realized I need. Badly.
  2. I’m re-prioritizing things that make me happy. Getting situated, settled, finding work, and all of the above have been a priority since moving. But, what about things that make me happy? I refocused on remembering things that make me happy and making them a huge priority; exercising, yoga, writing, reading, being around people, nights in, going to movies alone, dancing, trying new things – the list goes on! I’m trying to remember that in the daily grind of life, we still have to find time to do the things that make us happy. Simple but true.
  3. I’m practicing daily gratitude and daily affirmations. Right now, my daily affirmation is: You are strong, smart, sassy, & sexy! Sometimes feeling isolated can also have effects on my mental health, and by affirming these words out loud, I’m working on positive self talk and loving myself more. I also write down what I’m grateful for each week in my planner, which has been an amazing addition to my routine to keep myself feeling gratitude in each day.
  4. I’m reading more. This is another thing that eases my anxiety: reading. I’m challenging myself to read a book per month (though I’m hoping it’s more!) Reading expands my mind, calms me, and gives me more room for creativity, which makes me happier in my day to day. Send me your book recommendations!
  5. I’m giving myself grace. I’ve realized in the past 6 months that I put a ton of pressure on myself. I almost feel I’ve put pressure on myself to have some grand experience here, because of telling everyone my plans and dreams of moving to NYC. It makes for anxiety central when I have an off day, or I feel out of place, or whatever the case is. I’m trying to put less pressure on, and give myself grace. Live my life and be happy, but not cost myself my mental health because I want to achieve everything I’m dreaming of.

Wherever you are, and wherever you’re at in life, just know that you are loved, you are enough, and you are not alone, my friend.

XOXO, Kenzie

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