After turning 30 this past weekend, I’ve been reflecting a lot on life. I remember thinking 30 was a very old person when I was younger (ha!), but now I’d beg to differ with my younger self. I personally think my life is just starting to take off, but I wanted to spend some time talking about the expectations I feel from society, reflections, and how I’m choosing to look forward.
I was talking to my coworkers today and they asked me how my birthday was. OBVIOUSLY I responded that it was incredible to spend amazing time with family and friends. But I also told them that I turned the big 3-0 and that in our society, people put a certain negative stigma around turning it. Women are kind of expected to start thinking about children (because of our biological time clocks and because the generation ahead of us was WAY ahead of us by this point in their lives). Well, the reality is, I am single as a pringle. I live alone. And I am nowhere near to considering kids (and not even sure my path on the subject yet).
But what I’ve been working on in the last few months, and even last year or so, is being present — and getting to know myself in the process. I’m not sure what I want out of life yet. But instead of dreading that and wondering where I “should” be in life, I’m excited to continue to figure out what my life means for me.
30 to me feels like possibility. I have an established career, I am learning more about myself and falling in love with myself more each day, I am embracing independence like never before. I have so many things that I want to do and achieve, and I’m excited about these things. But being present means I don’t put pressure on what that looks like or when that comes.
Do I want to find a life partner? I do think that I do. But until then, I’m not going to sit around and mope that I’m 30 and single. I’m going to embrace dating, random hookups, flirting with multiple people at once, and even experimenting with different kinds of people. I’m also going to embrace being on my own as much as possible. You can always find me at a wedding, flying solo, having the best damn time. I’m aware that some nights are harder than others, but the nights where I thrive on my own are so much more powerful to me.
While I had an incredible 30th birthday, I also had to say a final goodbye to my best friend — my grandmother (who I call Gage). Gage has taught me so many things about life and I am so excited to live in her honor every day. She had a wild spirit like me and we shared so many similarities that I hold close. She is one of a kind. Gage wants the best for me and my life, and it put me at ease this weekend to know she’ll be looking down on me my entire life to make sure that I am enjoying it. This is something that also helped to carry me through my 30th birthday without expectation or judgement, just living.
Cheers to 30 years young. And cheers to embracing life at whatever age we’re at, with no expectation of where you “should” be in life.