I’ve said this to a lot of people over the last year or so — but dating in COVID is hard as hell.
I’ll explain it simply: We are all navigating this weird time and had our lives turned upside down, and majority of us are even questioning what we want out of life. We all aren’t exactly ourselves mentally and truly just trying to survive and figure it out. We also haven’t been socializing like normal, so not only is there less content to talk about on dates (which has gotten slightly better lately), but it also seems near impossible to keep momentum going. I can’t explain it well enough to people who aren’t in it, but I promise you, if you’re in the same boat — I empathize with you. It sucks sometimes.
But what I’m here to talk about is how we build ourselves up during what is quite possibly the most mentally taxing period of time for a single person on the dating scene. When a date goes bad, our minds instinctively go inwards — what did I do to drive them away? What didn’t I do? Is it something about me? Well, one of my prerogatives is changing this mentality to “THEIR LOSS” every time, but sometimes emotions get the best of us.
For example, I went on a date recently where I kind of didn’t care about the outcome. I was feeling myself, didn’t know if I was interested in him, and didn’t care the outcome either way. I was flying high on my emotions at this point of my week.
But then arrived a different date in the week, where I was excited about the guy I was out with. I truly hadn’t felt a spark or connection like that in a while, which was a GREAT thing in the moment, but has also led me down the dark path of overthinking. Now questioning if I did something wrong, was too much, ya know — the whole gamut. It hasn’t even been a week since the date, but that’s where we’re at — HA.
But I’ve quickly brought myself down to earth with what I’ve mentioned above. POSITIVE SELF-TALK. 100% of the time in dating it is not about you, it’s about the other person. And to my original point, lord knows what anyone is going through during this hard time. To think anything further than that is a disservice to ourselves and our worth. It’s all about quickly refocusing on what’s important during dating– YOU. What you need, what you deserve, and that is everything of your wildest dreams in my book.
To those of you in relationships, I equally empathize with you, as I can’t imagine the hardships you’re facing in your own right. No matter what, this time in our lives is taxing and emotional.
This post is to remind ALL OF US that our self-talk is so important in these times. It’s so important to build ourselves up, continue to learn what we deserve (and DEMAND it), and continue to find our happiness — whatever that looks like.